Seems I've got a thing for finding hats on the roadside in Mexico. Or maybe there are simply a lot of them flying from heads hither and tither, what with the ubiquity of pick-up bed passengers, and they've got a thing for finding me. Regardless, sometimes they're sweet ones, like the "Caballo" hat I found on my last tour, which I gifted to Manny, a true vaquero if only in the metaphorical sense. Thus far, I've seen at least three on this trip - most of 'em passable - but one caused me to stop, backtrack and retrieve it. "100% Borracho" (translation: Drunk) read large white letters, while a stereotypical and borderline-racist image of a drunk campesino snoozing beneath a cactus (you know the one) lounges embroidered on the left.
"Haha! 100% Borracho..." I chuckled to myself as I picked it up, sure it'd find its place amongst the "I'm With Stupid --->" t-shirts and Zubaz parachute pants in my nonexistent ironic apparel collection. "But then... Maybe I am 100% Borracho, in the metaphorical sense." High on life!
Unfortunately, I've found the hat to be some kind of sinister self-fulfilling prophecy. See, whenever I sport it I'm possessed by the undeniable urge to drink beers. No kidding! It could be eight in the morning, coffee just finished brewing, and I'll put the evil thing on to shield my eyes from the rising sun. "Hmm... This coffee looks pretty good," I'll think to myself, "But a caguama of Tecate sounds pretty better." Luckily, I haven't given in to the full, deviant power yet. I'll wise up and quickly put my Campy cycling cap on, often just in time. My coffee will still be warm.
But I've gotta wonder: Was the hat abandoned by the roadside for a reason? Did some true borrachón finally have a revelation, and with an angry "Fuck this devilish hat!", throw it forcefully from the window of a speeding truck? And was it fate that I should chance upon it, while struggling up some desert hill in Southern Baja? Why me?! Furthermore, what should I do?! I feel like Bilbo Baggins with this omnipotent, inauspicious thing.
1 comment:
Did you happen to find this hat in Lo De Marcos in the town square around Jan. 2010? I have been searching for that exact hat online since I lost my uncle's hat. I took the bus from Lo De Marcos to Puerto Vallarta and realized I was still wearing the 100% Borracho hat that I borrowed. I left it on the wall where we were sitting in hopes that he would find it.
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